In Search of My Alter Ego

(from: 11/27/2023)

I opened my email today to find an unusual request. The influencer I remotely follow presented a thought problem for the followers to respond to:

 “If you were a superhero what would be your name and superpower? Think of that as a picture of your future self.”

It’s a provoking question and amazingly timed, as I’m at a crossroads currently in my career path and trying to decide what occupation I’d like to focus on now, in my 50’s. 

So, I took the detour and set about playing with word and name combinations in an attempt to choose something with meaning but also sounded cool; it’s a superhero persona after all!

In my mind’s eye, I kept seeing this character/future self in a purple shantung pants suit.  The kind of fabric that seems to have an iridescent sheen to it; as it moves in the light, different colors appear.  This is an odd choice, I am a natural redhead and many shades of purple are off-limits to someone of my pale coloring, as they look ghastly on me.  Nevertheless, the image stuck.  A bold choice. 

This future self, character is also wearing a pair of glasses with a cool shape and colorful rims – as if to say “I’m not hiding!” This too is a direct contrast to the gold tone, wire rims I wear; designed to “blend in” with my hair and coloring. As though stating, “Yes, I have to wear glasses, but don’t notice those first.”

This exercise was more than just listening to my subconscious and seeing what would surface. This exercise prompts me in the direction of considering the various parts of my personality that exist.

This is what I came up with: 

             Juliette - the organized one; calm, in control, collaborative with other creatives around her.  (Thank you, Laura Vanderkamp for that inspiration!)

            Julia - the “secret agent” sort; confident, stands up to anything, and speaks up for herself. Doesn’t suffer being taken advantage of and defends those around her who might be treated unfairly or taken advantage of.   

           Jewels - the creative; expressing herself through various forms of artistic means. Most likely to be labeled a “hippie” or nature lover. Enjoys creating things with her hands.

           Julie - the writer, and reader; born to do writing. (I’ve been waiting 40 years to finally get to it in a serious, focused way!) Very much the current “me.” A woman of words and expresses herself best in this written way.

I realize I can be anyone of these or in any combination, at a given time.

I ponder: What will it take to get from here to that future self-image?  

What things do I need to learn now, to be prepared for stepping into that role? 

I begin brainstorming my own personal development curriculum I need to curate.

Too soon the exercise is over and I must return to my “real life,” as many superheroes must do. The home chores and family responsibilities call me into the everyday-ness of my life. 

It seems like this future self is a light-year away from who I am now; how I think, what I wear, what I focus on, how I use my time. 

This is an evolution process and I resolve to evolve.

Deciding not to hide anymore, I pull out a Post-it note and write:  

Step 1 - get a colorful pair of eyeglasses.